Cours camarade, le vieux monde est derrière toi.'s Journal

Cours camarade, le vieux monde est derrière toi.'s Journal

Cours camarade, le vieux monde est derrière toi.

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happy valentines [14 Feb 2006|01:33pm]

[ music | Rise Up with Fists-Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins-Rabbit Furcoat ]

r. kelly,

my friend the gnome and i,

hope you have a lovely valentines. with fellas on your left and honeys on your right.

and this is our gift to you, a valentines day song:

vday song

xoxo
harleene

|1 revealed | spectacle|

[29 Jan 2006|11:32pm]

january has not been a good month.
these past two weeks have been really tough.
not a good start to the new year.
so this is what i figure.
yesterday was the chinese new year.
so i'm going to say february is the new january and february will be what january was supposed to.
well, happy chinese new year.

anyway, february is already looking much much better.
1) kate comes tomorrow for a fantastic week filled with good times.
2) the week after that i'm flying to seattle for a job interview.
3) and if i get said job, i'm moving to seattle.
so, if the accident will, my life will be where i want it to really be by the end of february.
so if you pray, pray for me. if you light candles, light candles, just throw some good karma my way.
then you can come visit me in seattle.

i'm beyond ready to move. i need to do things for myself, look after myself and have that opportunity to start somewhere new. clean slate. without worrying about accommodating everyone else's needs. lately i've felt like a filler person to everyones life. like my life is meant to accommodate others and not my own. so having spent a lot of time alone i know that it's not true. i don't need to be here. if it were so important for me to stay i wouldn't feel so alone and trapped. the only reason for me to stay is my sisters. but they want what's best for me. when i told my sister joey about the possibility of me moving the first thing she said was go. if anybody knows me it's her and she's the only one who straight out said that it would be the best for me and that she hoped i would get the job. yeah she would miss me but she knows how much it would mean to me to move and get my life together. when i told eric he was supportive but unresponsive. he's my best friend, but with everything that's happened with me, i thought he would be there for me more. he hasn't and it's upsetting. so i just want to go and have a life of my own. where on weekends i walk to pike place market, buy a bouquet of fresh flowers, shop for some groceries, and spend some time in left bank books. and just come home to my own place.

so we'll see.
i have high hopes.

|1 revealed | spectacle|

anymore [08 Jan 2006|03:08am]

tonight i had high hopes. you know, that it would be a good night out with friends.
eh, total bust.
a saturday night bust.
my friend javier had a potluck at his house and it was nice. good food. eric and i got there 8:30 or so.
i seriously thought that we would go somewhere else after a bit, memphis, shit i don't care 2j's.
we didn't leave until after midnight. to go home.
i was in the worst mood after 10:30. because 10:30 became 11 which became 11:30 so on and so on.
on a saturday night i don't want to be stuck in a house full of people i don't know, don't really care for, and where there are no mixed drinks to compliment the last few cigarettes in my pack.
and no dancing. or good music at least.
i live fucking out in riverside and when i drive out there i'd like for it to have been worth it.
i have this head cold and my ears are all plugged up. i can't breathe through my nose and i have to breathe through my mouth which i hate, so it was all i could focus on, because hey, i had nothing else to keep my mind off it.
ahh i'm complaining!
and then i get to thinking about how i need a change of scene.
or that i'm just going to stay home.
i'm so anti social at things like that too.
i spent a lot of time sitting in a couch looking around at all the bad decor.
eric and ernest kept telling me to take a shot of tequila to loosen up.
like i'm fucking going to get wasted at javiers. and how social and "fun" am i going to be when i knew i didn't want to be there for too long and it was already too late to go anywhere.
i was seriously zero fun, zero anything.
at least at memphis there's kids like us hanging out. and i like the music they play there on saturdays. it's not hip hop night dammit!
buzzkill.

since i was getting home before 1 i called sandi and ended up hanging out with her and some other people back in riverside.
that 40 min that i spent with them was better than the 4 hours i spent at javiers.
i should have just stayed in riverside and hung out them.
but like i said. i had high hopes.

shit. i'm going to complain some more.
when i first get a crush on someone, it's all fun and cute.
i get way too excited over the most trivial things like him buying me a drink.
i make up all these excuses to hang out and ask everyone what everyone else is doing but really i just want to know what he's doing.
and i'll put myself in situations i'm not even comfortable to just be there.
but then i get the fucking pat on the back hug.
what the fuck kind of a hug is that?
the honeymoon is over and i just tell myself that i don't even care.
i see him and who am i kidding?
i care way too much.
i need to stop barking up the wrong tree.
i just don't know how to know that it's the wrong one haha.
good times.

there's plans of an outing this coming saturday with the kids here in riverside.
turns out they want to go to bang.
jesus, bang.
i don't want to be a bad friend though.
ahhhh.
and i already said i would go.
i hate second thoughts.

i have to pee now, which means i'm done complaining.
oh 2006. what else do you have in store for me?

|2 revealed | spectacle|

2 double o 6 [05 Jan 2006|03:55pm]

[ music | Gold Mine Gutted-Bright Eyes-Digital Ash In A Digital Urn ]

i'm starting off the new year with a cold. boo.
well, actually i started it off way boozed and happy and then i got a cold.

anyway this is the 2005 recap i should have done days ago:

( 2005 )

|spectacle|

so this is christmas [08 Dec 2005|08:15pm]

well, not yet.
like 17 more shopping days till?
i went shopping today, but not for christmas.
god i'm so spoiled. but i saw the coolest jacket, and the earrings, and then scarf, and shoes. and i'm stupid and spend money i don't have.
i bought a tripod. for my camera.
my first photo shoot for someone is this tuesday. haha.
photoshoot.
i'm also working on their website.
fun. extra money i neeeed.

i'm at eric's waiting for him to finish watching the oc and smallville.
we had dinner, and sangria. mmm sangria.
he drew my picture and i'm putting it up on my wall in my room.
i can't wait to smoke a cigarette. i have this thing now for smoking after a good meal.
i didn't get to, so when we get to 2j's, me and that pack of parliments in my bag are gonna be bff.

god gave me a second chance at having a job.
which is perfect because i can start saving money for when kate comes.
i already know each day that shes here is going to be filled with drinks, cigarettes, and the oc.
right?!?!
seriously. can't wait.

i had the weirdest week last week.
every time that i went out turned into some BIG dissapointment.
bah.
and i was really tired saturday night.
i mean really tired.
bah.

i think that the next couple of days leading up to christmas and new years are gonna be good.
some show are coming up.
my sisters birthday.
danny is coming home.
possibly disneyland.
movies like brokeback mountain.
all sorts of stuff.

the sangria's made me all nice, warm and cozy.

|spectacle|

eluminate the no's on their vacancy signs [17 Nov 2005|04:07am]

[ music | Bullet Proof...I Wish I Was-Radiohead-The Bends ]

i can't sleep.

i can't sleeeeeeeeep.

maybe it's because i've been up really late reading.
too bad the book keeping me up, wasn't even worth staying up late for.
i knew i shouldn't have bought it.
but i wanted a bit of light reading.
thank god i bought some william s burroughs at the same time.
anyway the book i read was 'the devil wears prada'.
aaaccckkkkk!!
terrible book. i seriously only kept reading because i thought there would be some spectacular climax where i could clap my hands and be like, yeah bitch got what was coming!. but nothing of the sort. GOD i really hated this book. it pisses me off that i read the entire thing. !!!!!!! jesus! if this book could become a national bestseller, fuck i'm gonna write a book too and win the pulitzer prize compared to this wreck of a book. man, can you tell i didn't like it? i think the only thing i took from it is a whole new and annoying vocabulary of every fashion term, designer, whatever. and a movie is being made. i bet the movie will be better than the book. jesus ok i'm done.

something i did enjoy this past weekend was pride and prejudice.
i mean i really liked it. i'm sure i'll go see it again.

i feel really spoiled lately.

i didn't get tickets to a midnight showing of harry potter.
i still could.
but it's also ernests graduation celebration at 2j's.
and sandi said she might go.
harry or real life?
what a dilemma.

i saw death cab last week.
the best is when you see a band live and they can send chills all over your body.
eric and i went to soma in san diego to see them.
i have to say it was a pretty awful crowd.
mostly because the majority of the people there only own plans.
when they started movie script ending i threw my hands up and cheered, along with like 5 other people.
ben gibbard even made a point about it.
and then eric and i had a fight about encores. he's crazy.
he lives in toontown.

anyway, i don't know what i'm going to do tomorrow.
and it's fucking 4 am.
man that sucks. who knows what time i'll get up tomorrow.
i don't want to get up late.

hey, rogue wave is playing the troubadour next month!!!!! yayayayayay!!!!!!
ooooh i'm soooo excited to go. and !!! is going to be at the el rey. i have to go to that.
and guess who's staying at the aladdin in vegas for 2 nights and seeing gwen stefani with special guest ciara all for free?
ME!
haha my mom is in some vip club and she got an invitation in the mail and booked it the same day. FOR FREE. hahaha.
and in like 2 weeks. hahaha.

i think i could fall asleep now.
nite.

|spectacle|

steal my records [06 Nov 2005|08:18pm]

[ music | Call Me On Your Way Back Home-Ryan Adams-Heartbreaker ]

this has become like a once a month thing for me.

this past week has been soooo mundane.
the week before that, interesting.
and the week before that, i couldn't even tell you.

halloween.
above all, i was excited to get dressed.
i was ally sheedy in the breakfast club.

eric was clark kent.
we went with ernest to some halloween party. at first it was the weirdest place to be.
filled to the brim with bro's and WHY????? is halloween an excuse for girls to be sooooooooo slutty?????
compared to the girls there, i was WAY over dressed with my hi top converse, gym socks, leggings, skirt, overside button up long sleeved shirt, oversized black sweater and scarf!!!!!!!!
i felt like a kid! haha.
oh man, so after awhile of insecurity and awe, i just decided to take advantage of the open bar.
finally, i was having fun. i went around and took pictures of people, i danced, i loved, there was a guy dressed up as wolverine i couldn't shut up about.
i noticed that i hate when people tell me i'm drunk. like i don't know. let's not fucking state the obvious. and i'm not annoying or anything, i just start having fun. i remember sunday used to always tell everyone and it made me mad hahaha.
but i drank too much.
the next day was not my best.
but you can see pictures of people on my site.

so i finally made a site for my photography.
just a starting point. i'm proud of it.

i've seen too many movies to name.

i'm horribly addicted to sims 2 on psp.

i have a package for danny that's taking me ages to send because i love procrastination.

i want a vacation.
soon.

|2 revealed | spectacle|

do you want to come over and kill some time [16 Oct 2005|02:48am]

[ music | Bulletproof-Rilo Kiley-Take Offs And Landings ]

most uneventful week to date.
it's weird not to have some sort of plan.

( plans )

thank you.

|1 revealed | spectacle|

[29 Sep 2005|04:57pm]

hahahaha i'm so ridiculous.

|1 revealed | spectacle|

[26 Sep 2005|11:10am]

hahahahahahahahahah

|spectacle|

[03 Sep 2005|12:47pm]

i love kanye west. no seriously.

i do

|1 revealed | spectacle|

go 'head girl go 'head get down [31 Aug 2005|01:10am]

well,

it looks like i'm gonna be doing open mic night at the gypsy den in santa ana this thursday.

it started with my friends eric and jenny mentioning it.
we went last week to check it out.
and now i'm doing it.
i'm really excited. and i'm not nervous, yet.

i think more people that i thought were gonna come, are gonna come.
even my parents want to go.
do you know how long it has been since i played in front of complete strangers? like, 5 years.
omg.
i get to do two songs.
i'm doing one that i just recently wrote and a cover.
the cover is a secret though.
i hope everyone likes it.

what did i get myself into?
hahaha.

oh man, but hey, if you want to come it's this thursday. 8pm. gypsy den on broadway in santa ana.

fun.
i'm sooo tired.

|spectacle|

[17 Aug 2005|05:12am]

i like how instead of sleeping, i'm up doing stuff like this.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

1. Pick 20 films you love/thoroughly enjoyed.

2. Find screen captures (stills) for each film, preferably from scenes you like. If you can't find a still, pick a new movie.

3. Post the pictures with the rules; let your readers guess from what
movie each still is. (Readers, no cheating. No google, no looking at my
livejournal interests or looking at the file names.)

1.

( +19 )

|5 revealed | spectacle|

when you're 21 you're no fun [15 Aug 2005|07:02pm]

august so far has been good to me.
thank you the month of august.

been seeing a lot of people from long time ago.
and it's nice.
i thought it would be awkward but just the opposite.
i'm glad.

i'm going to start working a lot.
and school starts in two weeks or something like that.

sunday wants to go to san fran for new years so a trip is being planned.
that would be really fun.

tonight i'm probably going to see satisfaction again.
i'm bringing michael some cupcakes.
i'm so nice.

anyway,

( some fun )

|1 revealed | spectacle|

[05 Aug 2005|01:35am]

hahahaha.
i made sure to sit on the right side of the tram to get the money shot.

|1 revealed | spectacle|

gold mine gutted [03 Aug 2005|12:01am]

[ mood | yeah i'm fine ]

i hate when i'm uncertain about what's going to happen next.
i have an idea of what i should be doing; the plan working itself out in my head.
but i always find myself at a loss. at a wrong direction.
this isn't an unfamiliar feeling so i'm not freaking out.
there's something different this time though.
it's something like a feeling that i know good things are coming.

the tire problem is solved.
i just have to pretty much be a better daughter.
or so that's what my dad says.
fatuous pseudo blubber.

i forgot to mention yesterday that when i blew my tire i was in the carpool lane.
after the guy switched my tire i had to get from the carpool lane to the next exit.
there was no letting out of the carpool lane so i had to go over the double yellow line, plus the exit was fast approaching.
so i had to pull one of those fucking, cut straight across all, what seemed like, 5 lanes to barely make the exit.
the best part though was that i so yelled out RENEGADE! when i did it.
too bad i almost gave sandi a heart attack.
i'm fucking crazy sometimes.

so this upcoming monday.
i'll so be in silverlake.
duh.

and this weekend is going to be relaxing.
yay.

|1 revealed | spectacle|

crazy if you don't [02 Aug 2005|02:57pm]

what a way to start the week, let alone the month of august.

so i got up yesterday with the notion to make a couple issues of the zine to take with me to the satisfaction show that night.
my sister and i left the house like at around 12:30pm.
two kinkos, one staples, food, ridiculous bro in a red truck, and 100 degree heat we finally came home at almost 3.
i went to work on putting together the zines and in all my fury only ended up successfully putting together like 5.
in what seems like 4 hours.
jesus.
then sandi came and i still had to get ready and we had to leave because we were going to pick up erik, blah blah blah.
so we finally hit the road at 9pm, which was the time i should have already picked up erik.
we're on the freeway when FLAP FLAP FLAP!!
a side of my car's top came off and was flying around like crazy.
so we exit the freeway, pull into an rv park where we knew we were going to get butt raped, i fix the top and off we go.
not even 20 minutes later i hear asldkfaskldfjaslkdfjaslkdfjasdlkfj!!!
my car blows a fucking tire.
basically killing all hope of getting anywhere that night.
the tow truck comes, fixes my tire charges me 55 dollars and sandi and i go to denny's to laugh, cry, eat, and just be.
the turned out to be a drive to denny's in buena park and an even longer ass drive home because i had to go slow with the spare on.
i missed the show, i missed my new crush, i missed handing out zines, but eh.
we're ok and i guess that's what matters right.

i don't want to deal with my dad.
i have to get new tires.
i will be ass poor but god damn i'll get those tires.

mother jesus.

|1 revealed | spectacle|

[28 Jul 2005|01:56am]

[ music | Close Encounters-Mogwai-Rock Action ]

summer is going by quick.
i feel like the only summerish sort of thing i have done is go to the oc fair.
lame.
but i can't help it.
the heat is a nightmare.

sunday was fantastic.
everyone came out for sandi's dinner and to video star.
to me it felt like a reunion.
i don't see everyone much.
fittingly so, most of us got smashingly drunk and danced like fiends.
i love how we're so all over the place.
i noticed that everyone is so blended in but we're all far from it.
did i ever tell you how much i love alcohol and cigarettes?
and i saw titties.
sandi was too drunk to drive home so we went to norms.
we got there at like 2 something am and didn't leave until around 5.
we had such a good conversation about things.
and our conversations reminded me of the ones sal paradise and dean moriarty have in jack kerouac'son the road.
while i read that book i found myself relating to and wanting to be sal.
and i wanted to find my dean moriarty, to go mad with and talk and talk and talk.
but talking to sandi that night, i was no doubt dean.
exploding with stories about my childhood, music, myself, and that night.
seriously, it was an excellent night.
i would love for these nights to be more regular and to have conversations like that with everyone i know.

i finished reading harry potter last night.
tears.
booooooooooo.
i seriously don't want to wait however many years it's going to take for jkr to write the next book.
it's just not right to keep people waiting.
i think my favorite word at the moment is snogging.

i have no plans this weekend.
i need to finish putting together my zine.
i don't know what book to start reading next.
i really want to see the edukators but it's only playing in santa monica right now.
and m.i.a. at the henry fonda in october or something, AWESOME!

|spectacle|

[21 Jul 2005|01:50am]

[ music | Blacking Out the Friction [Studio X Session]-Death Cab for Cutie ]

my little sister and i saw howl's moving castle today.
it was awesome.
i liked it a lot.

i feel better.

|1 revealed | spectacle|

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